I have talked about this run for 6 years now but the reality that it is tomorrow has hit me kind of hard this week. Every time I really think about it, I get emotional and teary. I am doing it a month before my birthday because I have other things planned around that time which will prevent me from running this far.
It is about the running but it is about so much more than that for me. It is almost a summation of my life to this point. It has me thinking back on my 40 years of life. What a wonderful life it has been, even with all of the hard moments.
Over the last six years I have contemplated where I should run this 40 miles, at first I just wanted to do 40 miles total because I am turning 40. This idea came about because of Teresa, It is all her fault. She ran 50 miles for her 50th and I was lucky enough to go and run parts of that with her.
As I looked at where I could run 40 miles, there were so many options but I decided to make it more meaningful. About a year or so ago, I plotted a route that would go past most of the significant places in my life. OR where these things happened. It ended up being about 40 miles.
I decided to start at the Pleasant Green Cemetery where my Grandpa Bertoch and several of my ancestors are buried. When the Bertoch side of the family came over here from Italy in the late 1800's they helped settle magna. There is even a cool plaque out there about this. :-)
My Grandpa Bertoch is one of the most amazing men I have ever known. I don't recall a time in my life where I didn't see him on an almost daily basis. He always wanted to be with his grandkids and have us around. No matter what he was doing. This wonderful man drove me to South Jordan (30 minutes one way) every morning for 3 years so that I could go to Jr. High and high school out there. The older I get the more I understand what a sacrifice this was for him. I will always treasure those morning rides and alone time I got with my grandpa.
I will run from there East on 3500 S. running past so many friends homes, previous ward members and family. My great grandparents old home, all of my great Aunts and Uncles homes. The gas station where I think I went daily as a teenager to get a diet coke and a pink cookie.
Past my brother Hiram's house, my parents home and then to Grandma Bertoch's house. She has lived in this house almost my entire life. She is 90 years young and full of life. I have learned the true definition of a strong, beautiful woman from her. I have watched her almost with awe my entire life. We went to her house every day after school all through elementary and Jr. High to get a snack and say hi. I don't think the world will keep spinning when this pillar in my life passes away.
I have a ring Grandma gave me about 15 years ago when Grandpa passed away. I have always loved this ring, growing up, I always wanted to wear it. My Grandma wore this ring on her pinky finger next to her wedding ring for as long as I can remember. Grandpa had given it to her for something(I need to ask what). I have worn this ring on the same finger next to my wedding ring since the day that Grandma gave it to me. It means more to me than most things I have. Grandma is going to get up at 6 AM to come out in her pajama's to give me a hug as I run by.
I will continue East on 3500 South past the house where my first friend, Cindy Miller, lived. Across the street is where the church that I first went to used to stand. The elementary school that I went to as well as my Parents and grandparents.
At 5872 W. 3500 S. there is the top of the dirt lane leading to the farm I grew up on. I have so many memories on this dirt lane. I could not have imagined growing up in a more wonderful environment. I had the most wonderful childhood ever. I loved growing up on a farm and away from a neighborhood. Our house sat in the middle of about 100 acres, the lane was about a half mile from 3500 s to the house. The house is still there but buried in the middle of houses now. The lane is blocked off so you can't go down there.
Then we will turn North and head down 5600 W. The McDonald's on the corner is where I got my first job. I was 14 and lied saying I was 15 so that I could work. I loved working here. I made friends with people that I am still friends with and have had a huge impact on my life.
As we go down 56th, we will run past my first home. This is my townhouse in Balmoral. You always remember your first house, but this house and neighborhood have so many more ties for me. I moved in here when I was pregnant with Kailee, my second daughter, She was born while we lived here. I stayed after I went through my first divorce. The women that lived here became like sisters to me, especially Kimmy. I could not have gotten through the things that I went through while I lived here without her. We used to walk the streets of the neighborhood, trying to solve our problems. This is also where I lived when Kailee had her accident. The day they told me that Kailee would never live off of life support, if she did it would be in a vegetive state and that I had to decide to take her off of life support or not. I drove to this house in Balmoral, went to my bedroom, climbed under the covers and wondered how I could possibly still be breathing when I hurt so much. I stayed here all night and just cried. It is the house that I sold when I realized that I would have to quit my job, move in with my parents to be able to care for Kailee after the accident.
The next part of the journey is just on random roads to get me to Salt Lake. I guess that is kind of how the rest of life is.
When I planned this route, I was really sad that I would not be able to get any of South Jordan or Copperton into it. So many memories of Jr. High and High School, very formative years. I told one of my friends from Jr. High and High school that I was about this. Well he is awesome and told me that he will start running at Bingham High, go past the Country Court House, where I spent many so much of my youth. Swimming on different swim teams, working there, having parties and sleepovers with my friends. Dave, this friend will meet me at Redwood Road and 400 S symbolic of the 40 years. He will run with me for a couple of miles then run back to Bingham.
As we run into downtown we are going to run East on 300 S. past the restaurant where Brad and I went on our first date. There are not words to express how grateful I am for this man, for this date and that fact that we fell in love and got married. I think about this a lot. The chances that I would meet him and things would work out and it amazes me. I clearly see God's hand in this. I wish it hadn't taken 39 years to find him but am so grateful that I did.
We will then run down 100 S to temple square. 100 S is the road that I drove up to Primary Children's Hospital an average of 3 times a week during the 4 years that Kailee lived after the accident. I love Temple Square, it is the most beautiful temple. I have had some very special moments here, moments where I have felt my Kailee.
We will then start up Main Street going past my first tiny apartment. Then up Columbus street to my second apartment. I loved this apartment. I would have lived here forever. This is where I was pregnant with Cassidy, where I brought her home to.
Then we will start on the trail at the top of Columbus street. I LOVE running the trails. Running in and of itself is my solace and what grounds me. BUT trail running takes it to another level. My go to place to run when I am struggling is Farmington Canyon, Bair Canyon or any other trail I can find. I love being able to disappear in nature, be mostly alone and enjoy the beauty of the world that has been created for us.
This trail will put me into a neighborhood in NSL close to Eaglewood golf course.
Every year my "running" friends and I have done a gratitude run on Thanksgiving. We go early in the morning so we can get home to our families. We start at Eaglewood golf course, run along Bountiful Blvd to the Bountiful temple and back. We have had years where it has been 4 degrees, It has rained on us, snowed, and years where it has been warm and pleasant. I love this run and the women that have done it with me over the years.
I will be doing this section in gratitude for my life and all I have been given.
I will pass the golf course where I do a charity tournament in honor of my Kailee. Then past the Bountiful temple where for years I have gone weekly(for the most part).
We will WALK down 400 N because it is way too steep and now we are getting into the heart of where I have run so much over the last 10 years. I love Davis County so much and am so grateful that I live in such a wonderful location.
We will run North on Main Street in South Farmington past the church where we had Kailee's funeral, down past the 2cnd house I owned. This is the house where we lived with Savy was born and where Kailee passed away. This house never felt like home to me but I am tied to it because of both of these things.
We will then go back to Main street and to Kailee's grave in Farmington. I have never been much for going to her grave. I do it a couple of times a year and that is all. I don't feel her there. I know it is just her body there. I am grateful that it is close to my home though and that I can go there if I feel like I need to.
We will then run through Downtown Farmington with it huge trees. I don't think there is a prettier place than State St. and Main St. in Farmington. I have run these roads at all times of the day.
Then we will go to the end of Lagoon lane/trail and run towards home. This is where I ran my first run almost exactly 10 years ago with the women that I still run with. I have done many walks here with all of my kids talking through all of life.
Once we get to the other end of Lagoon Lane, I have to decide if I am going to go up "the church" hill or down main street. It will depend on if I need a little extra mileage to hit 40 or not. My daily runs for the last 10 years always end at the top of this hill so I feel like I need to go up the hill but who wants to go up a hill after 40 miles of running.
At the top of the hill is the church where I have gone for the last 10 years. Then the street goes through the ward that I have been in as well. Past so many people's homes that I love dearly, and that have impacted my life for the better in every way.
BUT going down Main Street goes past so many friends and neighbors as well. It is also the street that I drive down every day.
I used to drive down Main street looking for houses that were for sale until I found mine. I wanted to live in this part of Farmington for years before I found my house. I love that there are no sidewalks or curb and gutter. I love that it is mostly farms and people that have been there forever.
Either way it will be wonderful.
I will end at my house on Main street.
This is my HOME. It is only the 3rd house I have ever owned. This is the only place that has ever felt like home since my childhood home. When we bought the house I planted a tree that had been given to me when Kailee passed away. I had kept this tree in the pot for over a year at my old house because I knew that wasn't home.
All the kids lived here, grew up here, and still call this home no matter where they are living. I love that this is where Brad and I have worked so hard to make our home.
I am hopeful to find Kailee pennies along the run. I am hopeful that my legs will be strong and carry me through this journey. I feel blessed that I am able to have this retrospective journey through my life. I am so excited to see the people that are coming out to run/walk/bike with me and so grateful for how they have shaped who I am and blessed my life.
I wish that Greyden and Gage were here to do some of this with me. I am so grateful that Cassi and Savy will be running a portion with me.
This is a long blog post and I am sure there will be a long blog post after I am sure, once I have had time to process everything.
Here is to another 40 years of a life well lived, of living every moment to the fullest, of loving with my entire heart and soul. Of going through hard things and coming out stronger on the other side.
http://gmap-pedometer.com?r=6595223
https://docs.google.com/spreadsheets/d/1x70iMRNJAUSESow85U3GhAYxkuzXrscCu156OrQgcJs/edit#gid=0
No comments:
Post a Comment