Ward Conference - Farmington 10th Ward

I have rarely shared any of my feelings about religion on this blog but today I am going to. So if you don't want to hear it stop reading now.

About 3 weeks ago my Bishop (who happens to be one of my best friend's husband) asking if I would be willing to speak in Ward Conference about my experience with being "rescued". My first reaction was well I will be out of town that weekend so I am dodging a bullet....But I said to him, "Let me think about it for a minute and I will call you back". I went and said a prayer and went "dammit, I need to cancel my hotel room. Called Bishop Wood back and said OK I will speak.

As I prepared my talk with the hard topic that he gave me, I struggled to make sure that I would be guided to the right quotes and thoughts. That it would come out in the right way. I didn't want to offend anyone or make anyone feel uncomfortable.

After asking a couple of friends to read through my prepared talk, I felt confident enough as Sacrament meeting started last week. I was very nervous to get up there and bare my soul but felt good about the content.

Here is my talk:

I was born to the most wonderful parents and family. I was raised in the church and was very active, went to Seminary and did everything I was supposed to do. At 19 I got married in the temple. My first marriage was really difficult. We were divorced 4 years later.

I had 2 young girls, a lot of anger and became inactive in the church. Poor choices over the next year led me to sitting in my bishops office and being excommunicated. I left the meeting a very angry person. I didn’t understand. How could this happen? How was I here?

I had a wonderful ward and family members that were kind and patient with me. My parents held steady and firm with their testimonies. They loved me and accepted me. They didn’t push me but let me know that they knew the Gospel was true.

The first counselor in my ward Bishopric, Justin Monson, and his wife took the time to become my friends. They would stop by to visit. They invited me to dinner. The conversation was rarely about the gospel at first. They took a genuine interest in me. They gave me hope that there was still a chance I could come back. That it wasn’t too late. Eventually these visits and dinners did turn to gospel discussions, and they asked if I would be willing to take the missionary discussions.

I began thinking about what I wanted and how I felt when I was a member and how I felt now.  I began to contemplate this loss I had felt.  There was a definite loss the moment I was excommunicated.  It was a tangible difference. I was amazed at how different I felt. I realized there was a feeling of loss that was profound. As I contemplated this I felt I wanted to have the spirit be in my life again. I was born in the church, so I don’t know that I had ever recognized how much the spirit was a part of my life.

I decided that I was going to figure out if I even believed any part of the gospel and either come back to the church or be done with it forever. I took the missionary discussions in the Monson’s home. They made arrangements for someone else in the ward to watch my girls. I started reading the Book of Mormon by myself and with a couple of the women in the ward that Brother Monson had suggested. As I went through this, I realized that I wanted the spirit back. I didn’t want to be on the outside looking in anymore. For the first time in my life I became converted to the Gospel. In my 20’s I gained a testimony of my own. What a marvelous blessing this has been to me since that time.

President Boyd K Packer: It was understood from the beginning that in mortality we would fall short of being perfect. It was not expected that we would live without transgressing one law or another.

No matter what our transgressions have been, no matter how much our actions may have hurt others, that guilt can all be wiped out. To me, perhaps the most beautiful phrase in all scripture is when the Lord said, “Behold, he who has repented of his sins, the same is forgiven, and I, the Lord, remember them no more.”

That is the promise of the gospel of Jesus Christ and the Atonement: to take anyone who comes, anyone who will join, and put them through an experience so that at the end of their life, they can go through the veil having repented of their sins and having been washed clean through the blood of Christ. End quote.

I have experienced this! I have been converted to the gospel of Jesus Christ! I KNOW that my savior lives, I know that the atonement is there for each of us.

I was rebaptized about a year and a half after I was excommunicated.

Brother Monson and his family were there even though I had moved away from the ward. 3 years later when I was able to get my temple blessings back and go to the temple for the first time again Brother and Sister Monson were there holding my hand with tears streaming down their faces. They loved me despite my past choices, they treated me like a daughter of God. They gave me the courage to come back even though I was so embarrassed and ashamed. I never felt judged by them. They were my friends no matter what….they loved me and helped save me! I don’t know that I would have come back without them. It is and can be very simple things that will save someone who needs or wants to come back to the gospel. I am so grateful to the Monson’s and will forever hold a special place in my heart for them and their example.

I am so grateful to again have the gospel in my life. I am so grateful for the ability to go to the temple. I am so grateful for and cherish my membership in this church.

Sugar Beets and the Worth of a Soul

President Monson teaches. He tells the parable of a farmer who was driving a large open-bed truck filled with sugar beets. As he drove along the road, some of the beets fell out along the roadside. When the farmer realized some of the beets had been lost, he insisted on going back to get them, because, he said, they had just as much sugar as the rest of the beets. President Monson compares these beets that have fallen from the truck to those members of the Church who have fallen from activity. To our Father in Heaven, they have just as much value as the rest of His children, and He wants us to go back and rescue them.

President Monson says: “The Lord emphasized the worth of each man or woman, youth or child when He declared:

“‘The worth of souls is great in the sight of God. …

“‘And if it so be that you should labor all your days in crying repentance unto this people, and bring, save it be one soul unto me, how great shall be your joy with him in the kingdom of my Father!

I am very grateful for a select couple who were willing to step out of their daily lives and overlook my shortcomings to be my friends, Through their example and love, they’ve taught me the gospel again and helped me find my way back to my testimony and to my Heavenly Father.

Pres. Kimball: I have always loved the parables of the Master, particularly two that focus on our brothers and sisters who have temporarily lost their way. The parables were given at a time when the Lord was chastised by the scribes and Pharisees for his work with “publicans and sinners.”

“And the Pharisees and scribes murmured, saying, This man receiveth sinners, and eateth with them.

“And he [Jesus] spake this parable unto them, saying,

“What man of you, having an hundred sheep, if he lose one of them, doth not leave the ninety and nine in the wilderness, and go after that which is lost, until he find it?

“And when he hath found it, he layeth it on his shoulders, rejoicing.

“And when he cometh home, he calleth together his friends and neighbours, saying unto them, Rejoice with me; for I have found my sheep which was lost.

“I say unto you, that likewise joy shall be in heaven over one sinner that repenteth, more than over ninety and nine just persons, which need no repentance.” (Luke 15:2–7)

What a powerful message! This parable of the Lord is an assignment of love for us to search out and rescue individuals in need—particularly in this instance, those who have strayed from the fold.

Our responsibility as brothers and sisters in the Church is to help those who may be lost to find their way, and to help those who have lost that which is precious to find their treasure again. The scriptures clearly teach us that every member has the obligation to strengthen his fellow members.

The Savior lovingly yet pointedly emphasized this when he said to Peter, “When you are converted, strengthen thy brethren” (Luke 22:32). May I say the same to each of you: When you are converted, please strengthen your brethren and sisters. There are so many who hunger, sometimes without knowing the cause of their hunger. There are spiritual truths and principles that can be as a strong foundation for safety to their souls, peace to their hearts and minds if we would but turn our prayers and active concern to them.

There may be someone who will say, “Well, we know a man or a woman who can never be touched.” Of course he or she can be touched. He or she can always be blessed and helped! There is the promise of scripture. It reads, “Charity never faileth.” Charity, applied long enough, never fails to work its miracle either in the individual, in us, in both of us, or in others around the individual.

Like President John Taylor, I believe there is none who cannot be converted—or I might say reactivated—if the right person makes the right approach at the right time in the right way with the right spirit. I know that the blessings of our Father in Heaven will attend our efforts if we prepare ourselves, and if we happily live gospel principles, and if we will seek our Heavenly Father’s assistance.

Let’s all of us as members everywhere who love the Lord and desire to do his will, reach out and with love and inspiration do the righteous labors required by helping those in need. Temporary flashes of interest and enthusiasm will not achieve the desired results. But his desired results can come, and will come more often than any of us imagines, if we will prayerfully enlarge our sustained efforts. Not only will choice blessings of the Lord come into your lives and the lives of others, but we will draw closer to the Lord and feel the presence of His love and His spirit.

Pres. Thomas S Monson: I have said it before; I will say it again: there is no fog so dense, no night so dark, no gale so strong, no mariner so lost but what the lighthouse of the Lord can rescue. It beckons through the storms of life. It calls, “This way to safety. This way to home.” It sends forth signals of light easily seen and never failing. If followed, those signals will guide you back to your heavenly home.

There is hope for each of us. I am so grateful for this experience in my life. It enabled me to discover the rich blessings of the Atonement, and find my own testimony of Jesus Christ which I now bear: I know that my Heavenly Father lives. I know he is aware of all of us. I know that he will always take us back no matter what and that he wants us back.

In the name of Jesus Christ Amen.

Now you can see why I was nervous and worried about this. In the LDS church and Utah in particular it seems, No one admits their mistakes or that they have made any. Growing up here I always felt like there was a big push to have the appearance of being perfect.
I worried before and since about the possible judgement that may come from telling people this. I am very grateful for this experience and I hope in some way that it can benefit other people. I am grateful that my Bishop would ask me to speak about this openly. It was really good for me to sit and reflect on my feelings about it and to remind myself of what I went through. There is so much good we can do for others. I am so grateful for those that helped me!

I have had an incredible response, including a very sweet letter from my Stake President. I hope that it is and was taken in the right way. I am so grateful that I was there and that I got to participate last week. It was one of the most spiritual moments of my life. I have rarely felt a spirit like that in a sacrament meeting. I feel so blessed! Sister Nelson that spoke about her own struggles and trials. The Bishop's talk was wonderful! I love his simple, sweet personality and manner that he speaks in.
The Stake President's talk was just as powerful.
Again, What a wonderful meeting!!!!